Despite Halloween's deeply puritanical roots, many moons ago (1989) in a land far away (South Boulder) the meaning of Halloween had been flushed out to two very simple- yet important- factors: Candy and Being Fabulous. See, Halloween can be a kids first foray into the world of fabulosity (and who doesn't love a little fab while double fisting mini Snickers and Kit Kats?). It's a little known fact that there is a direct correlation between the amount of deliberation and scrutiny that goes into a childhood costume, and the type of lady you'll develop into. A boring witch? You're doomed for a lifetime of sensible shoes. Disney Princess? You'll probably be student council president in high school, then do keg stands in college. Wonder Woman? Get ready to recite angry slam poetry at open mic night. It goes on and on. We slanted towards outfits that were whimsical and girly. I preferred a sophisticated look with nods to the past- this very fashion forward flapper was years ahead of it's time. Jessica, being, well, Jessica, was a costume perfectionist, with a keen eye for exquisite detail. One year when she was five or six she wore an elaborate mermaid costume then a blizzard struck and she had to change into some kind of ridiculous animal onesie she wore the year before when the same thing happened. This was the 80s, before global warming, when inevitably every single Halloween was ruined by a humungous blizzard. Retrospectively, this seems rather comical, but when you're eight and have to put ankle scrunchy sweatpants under your cherry red flapper dress, it is truly soul crushing. I'm not sure what the holiday has evolved in to for the kids (says the 119 year old) but I'm sure it's still nice- despite having no idea who any of the popular costumes are for 2014- Teen Beach Lela??? Adventure Time Fionna? One year I was a hobo. Yes, a hobo. Analyze that. So here's to Halloween. I even enjoy the several days leading up to the holiday when I play my favorite game "Is that a costume? Or just a horribly misguided outfit with impeccably hideous timing?" May your day be filled with glitter and malt balls.